I believe there are two different ways to live life: you can either live life just to live it, or you can live it with a purpose. Now let me be clear, there is no problem living life just because you are alive, just because you are a physically breathing human being. Life is too short, so enjoy it while you can. But in that same breath, life is too short and fragile to not truly live it. And by truly live life, I mean live life with a purpose. Living life with a purpose makes you want to get up every day, it keeps you focused on the big picture, and what’s really important in life. My life got its purpose in June of 2015 when my Uncle Dan “Squid” Weckstein had a seizure that saved his life, and enabled him to fight a winning battle against Stage 4 brain cancer for three years. My purpose became to be Squid Strong, to be resilient, starting as a varsity cross country and track runner in high school and now as a news anchor/reporter and producer at iHeartMedia in Cincinnati.
Back in March of 1993, the late great Jim Valvano delivered one of the most inspirational speeches in history. In addition to uttering the famous words of “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.” Jimmy V also taught us that there are three things we all should do every day. Number one is laugh, you should have laughter. Number is two think, you should spend some time in thought. And number three, you should have your emotions moved to tears. You laugh, you think and you cry, that’s a full day, that’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.
Every year on August 28, I try to write something that remembers the life and legacy of my inspiration of my uncle, who passed away on this day three years ago. Two years ago I wrote about how he became, and still is, my biggest inspiration and how I have learned, and still am learning, resilience. Last year I wrote about how my mission in life is to carry on his legacy. And this year, I’m applying the three things Jimmy V told us we all should do every day and how it relates to my Uncle Squid.
Number one is laugh. I have a friend who will laugh at anything I say. I’m sure she’s laughed when I’ve even asked her “how are you?”, and that is great that she can laugh at anything. You know what that’s taught me? How to not take things so seriously. Case in point; one of my uncle’s famous sayings was “Sheesh, it ain’t no thing.”
I struggled a lot in college trying to be perfect, including in things I didn’t need to be. I was so concerned about perfecting the process of how I do things that I was constantly mad at myself when I didn’t accomplish things a certain way. I thought it would motivate me to better the process of how I did things, but looking back on it didn’t. Now, all I’m concerned about is whenever I’m given a task or faced with a challenge, I’m not so concerned about perfecting the process or method of how I go about completing it. All I’m concerned is getting the job done someway somehow. As long as it’s done, that’s all that matters. And if something is not perfect within that process, now I find beauty in laughing and saying, “well, at least I got it done.”
I’m not experienced in battling cancer, but I think facing a challenge like that there is no set way or formula to perfect. You just got to fight, got to be resilient. My uncle did everything the doctors told him to do, sure, so there is methodology to that. But still, I think you just have to fight as you go, learn as you go, constantly making adjustments. I find laughter in that. I don’t need to perfect the process. I just need to do what I need to do at any particular instance, and if I need to make any adjustments I will.
Number two is think. This has been a weird time we have been living in since mid-March of 2020. But you know what it’s allowed me to do? Think. Not being in the routine of being in class, a press conference, a broadcast booth, wherever I would normally be under normal circumstances, not being in that mode allowed me to spend some time in thought. Especially this Summer. This being my first Summer after graduating college, I embraced that I had to do some critical evaluations of myself and make any necessary transitions. And thinking is a good thing to do when you’re not so go go go all the time. It gives you perspective, and it allows you to look at all sides/angles to a story and be open-minded.
Back in May I realized why I haven’t been the same person since Uncle Squid passed away three years ago today. I’m not the same in a bad way; I’m different for lots of good reasons. My uncle’s passing was the first time something didn’t go the way I wanted to or expected it to go. I always thought, as my grandmother did twice, he would beat cancer. And the truth is, he did beat cancer, because he beat it by how he lived, why he lived and in the manner in which he lived.
So in all of the thinking I have done, I haven’t been the same person since my uncle passed away is because people and things just mean more to me. Life is fragile, it can change in an instant like my uncle’s did in June of 2015 and like all of ours did in March of 2020. What’s really important in life are family, friends and the relationships we have with them. Just like my the life my uncle knew crashed in June 2015, all of our lives crashed in March of 2020. But it allowed us all to think about everything around us. And for me, in my mid-20s, it was an opportunity to think about what I’m truly passionate about, what’s really important, the reality of things and my life, and get focused on what should matter most to me, which include my family, my career aspirations to work in sports, my friendships and relationships with them, and most importantly carrying on my uncle’s legacy. It’s a transition to embrace my life and what I want to do with it, all while insuring my uncle’s legacy is carried on and that he’s proud of everything I’m doing.
For as much as my uncle seemingly approached life as he normally would while battling cancer, things weren’t normal for him. For one, he went into disabled retirement from being the Oakwood Junior High School principal, meaning the life he had known working in education for 21 years was now gone. But instead of wallowing in pity, he saw the good of the situation. He was still able to devote a lot to your personal real estate team, Team Weck, a team he and my mom were a part of for two years. He devoted time to spending time and traveling with his family.
I remember having lunch with him at the Dayton Country Club in January of 2018, and we, of course, were talking about the Bengals. We were both at their Monday Night game against the Steelers a month prior, the game where the Bengals blew a 17-0 lead in the first half and lost 23-20 on a last-second field goal. But, “sheesh, it ain’t no thing,” right? Looking back on it, my uncle battling cancer, I believe, made him think about what was really important in life. And sweating out a game and hoping the Bengals didn’t blow it against the Steelers was not the most important thing at that point in time. So much so, that when the Bengals went up 17-0 in that Monday Night game, Uncle Squid turned to my Aunt Kellie and said “I’m already over it.” Yes he maybe grew accustomed to the Bengals always blowing a big lead against the Steelers, but I think he also knew it wasn’t the most important thing if they did or didn’t in this instance.
I need to think about how whether or not my teams win or lose isn’t the most important thing. Sure I am emotionally invested in them, but I do need to think about how the rest of my day or night shouldn’t be dictated by whether or not my team wins or loses. There are bigger things in life that matter more, especially carrying on my uncle’s legacy.
Number three, you should have your emotions moved to tears. If there is one more conversation I could have with my uncle, it would be about mental health. He was in education for 21 years prior to his cancer diagnosis, so I would be really curious to hear his thoughts on a subject that has become embraced by some of the world’s most recognizable names. Especially in the time we are living in with a global pandemic and movement for social justice. I haven’t cried since my uncle died three years ago, but that doesn’t mean my eyes haven’t watered when I have thought about him. I heard Marty Brennaman say recently that crying is the most masculine thing a man can do, and I’m still pondering that. I just always thought men shouldn’t cry, but the truth is that was a preconceived notion. And as I have done a lot of thinking and transitioning this Summer, one thing I don’t want to have is any preconceived notions. I want to learn as much as I can about everything, and I have learned that, yes, it is okay for men to cry. It is okay for them to feel whatever it is they are feeling at any particular moment.
Men are allowed to have emotions. I used to always think that being in the sportscasting business, the entertainment industry, that I had to be this perfect image, always having things under control, always having a calm demeanor, always being enthusiastic, etc. But as I have seen in my first internship and job, that’s anything but the case. Sometimes the stressors of the job, and there’s a whole lot of them in the industry I’m in, can cause people to lose their cool, to say things they shouldn’t, to let out frustration, and those are all okay. Again, as my uncle would say, “Sheesh, it ain’t no thing.”
Those who watch WLWT regularly have probably seen Brandon Saho anchor and report news, and he is fantastic. Someone I have learned a great deal from on how to be the best reporter/anchor I can be. He also occasionally tweets and posts about mental health because he’s been through a bout with depression, so he gets it. At first when I saw him open up about it on social media, I admit now that I was surprised because here was someone who had a great job posting about mental health and depression. But after seeing other people close to me open up about their struggles, I realize why Brandon tweets and posts about his.
My friend Kat who laughs at everything I say; well, she’s also a rising singer/songwriter living in Nashville, has a great family, great friends, an infectious personality, you think what more could she need? To open up about her struggles with anxiety and depression. That’s what she did when she released her single “Role Models” back in February. Sure her song and voice in it are incredible, but what really resonated with me the night her single was released was her message she posted saying that despite what she used to think of as a songwriter’s “perfect” image, she wasn’t afraid to admit that she, and all of us, never have it altogether. She used her platform as a songwriter to shine on a light on mental health and it’s okay to not be okay, and that was so courageous and powerful of her to do.
During my time at Bearcast Media, I worked with a girl, Ashley, who was incredible. I learned so much from working with her, including how she lost her mom to cancer and her subsequent battle with depression. At first I thought it was a bad thing that she, and others, have gone through battles with depression and other mental health battles. But, as I have learned, it’s not a bad thing at all. Ashley’s battle with depression made her stronger, more focused, gave her a purpose. Remember, living life with a purpose. That’s why she was able to teach me hard work, passion and love for what it is that I do.
As someone who was in education for 21 years, I would love to know my uncle’s thoughts on mental health since education can bring about many stressors and bring forth mental health challenges for many students. The same with fighting cancer. Think about the mental health challenges that can bring about, from the initial shock of being told you have it to all the challenges that come with battling it. One thing my uncle talked about in his video he did on resilience was how he, Aunt Kellie and his kids, Collin and Casey, stay positive for themselves and those around them. How we act when we are by ourselves is so important when we are around others, because we can form habits when we are by ourselves. And after watching Uncle Squid battle cancer for three years, I chose to form positive habits when I’m by myself so I can be positive around others.
Life is hard, especially battling a disease as serious as cancer. But the famous speech that Jimmy V delivered helps keep it simple, by doing the things that matter and focusing on the things that matter. For me, that’s carrying on my uncle’s legacy, spending time with my family, always making sure my friends know I care about them, not taking life so seriously, making sure to spend some time in thought and realizing it’s okay to be feeling whatever I am feeling in any moment. And like my uncle did with his resilient mindset while battling cancer, he didn’t give up. He didn’t ever give up.
Let me be Frank and Cut to the Chase 