MACON, Ga. — Four years is a long time. It feels like a lifetime ago, honestly. I was still a teenager, just starting my sophomore year of college and first year as sports director of Bearcast Media four years ago. Andy Dalton was still the Bengals quarterback, Marvin Lewis was still the Bengals head coach. Mick Cronin was still the Bearcats men’s basketball head coach, Joe Burrow, Trevor Lawrence and Desmond Ridder all had not started a college football game at that point.
Needless to say, there’s been a lot of change over the last four years. Personally, I moved to a new city, new region of the country, started a full-time job, became a daily podcast host, etc. But one thing that hasn’t changed is my mission in life: carrying on my uncle’s legacy.
It’s been four years since Uncle Squid passed away, and every year on this day I try to write something to commemorate it. A year after his passing, I just simply wrote some thoughts on it being one year later. Two years after, I explained why my mission in life is to carry on his legacy. Three years after was simple: the three things we all should do every day, as explained by the great Jim Valvano.
But what about four? I got to keep coming up with something original every year. Then it hit me: the four corners. I could do the four corners of life, and how Uncle Squid embodied each of them. But I’ll take it even further.
In a video Uncle Squid did back in the Winter of 2016, he talked about resiliency. He talked about what to do when you run into a problem, and something stood out to me. He talked about the people you go to when you run into a problem. So then I started thinking about the people I have in my corner, and I have a lot of them from many areas of my life. For today, though, I’m going to highlight four of them, and why they are in my corner.
My mom (Debbie Weckstein Frank)
I simply do not know where I would be without her. Period. Especially these past six months moving to a new city and starting my first full-time job. I’ve called for her many times for anything, and major credit to her for helping me through some really adverse situations.
Here’s the thing: never underestimate the love and strength of a mother. They may bug us and annoy us (and I’m not immune from this), but as she always tell me, she does it out of love. Because she worries about me and my sister. And I see that. The amount of times she has to hear me in a not-so-good state on the phone, and every time she’s still always there to help me through whatever it is is amazing. That’s true strength.
And I’ll be honest, our relationship got better since I started college and moved down to Georgia. We’re closer now, and we were before too. But the truth is without her, without her hyping me up as the greatest person ever, that I can do anything I put my mind to, without her using her experiences in the workforce, life, etc., to help me, I don’t know if I would be where I am today. When you don’t live with your mom every day, you get the time to realize how special she is. And what she has done for me, I know it, but I don’t know if I truly grasp it.
What she is is a doer. She gets the job done. I can’t think of one time where something needed to get done, and she didn’t do it. She set the example, and I’m seeing that now in my job as a news producer. If there’s a job that needs to get done, I do it.
My mom is someone everyone needs in their life, not just me. There’s a reason everybody loves her. She’s a hype woman. She’s diplomatic. And she’s always willing to listen to you. How could you not have that woman in your corner?
Aunt Kellie
My goodness. Whereas my mom is the strongest person I know, Aunt Kellie is the toughest person I know.
When you know someone who battles cancer, you focus on them. And rightfully so. However, what cannot be ignored is the spouse of someone who battles cancer. Because in a way, they battle it too.
I think of what Aunt Kellie had to do in the three-plus year fight my uncle won. Having to learn everything about the disease, having to work with all the doctors, how to balance all of that on top of a full-time job and being a mom to two kids. Think about that for a moment. She was married to someone who had cancer. She was married to the fight just as much as my uncle was. That’s toughness.
Like my mom, Aunt Kellie is my hype-woman. If I tell her I’m thinking of doing something, she’ll tell me to go ahead and do it. Whether it be sharing my feelings for a girl, whether it be spending a little too much money on a sporting event, whether it be to be politely forward in seeking opportunities, she’s going to tell me to do it. Because what’s the worst that can happen, right?
Here’s what I love about Aunt Kellie: she’s the same person every time you see her. Even when my uncle was battling cancer, when you saw her you would never have known what was going on. Always laughing at everything, always looking for the positive in everything, always being that light in everybody’s life. Two weeks after my uncle passed, I called her on her birthday, and as I’m talking to her I’m having to remind myself what she and Collin and Casey were going through. That’s just how positive she is, like there’s no other option but to be.
Grandma and Granddad (Noodle and Poochie)
The highlight of every weekend for me is when I call my grandparents. I do it on the weekends for a reason: because I’m on no set schedule on the weekends. I don’t have to be here or there at a certain time. There are no interruptions.
When I talk with them, we catch up on everything. It’s fun. It puts me at home (look, living away from your hometown isn’t easy). And it’s something I’ve realized: there’s nobody I enjoy more telling my about my accomplishments than my grandparents.
That goes back to when I was in school. If I got a 100 percent on my math quiz or test (yes, that stuff happened), I couldn’t wait to hear Noodle say “Good for you grandson, I knew you could do it!” or Poochie say “You can’t do much better than that!”
Of course there are many other people I have in my corner. Uncle Jerry is great because he’s taught me that it’s more than just the job you have. It’s the intangibles; how you talk to people, how to own an interview, how to handle situations, the little and simple things but things that can make a huge difference.
My sister has called me a dumbass more times than I can count (then again, I am dumb enough to keep walking into the hellaciousness that is news producing five days a week). But she does it because she’s trying to help me be the best version of myself. Not only is she genius book smart (above average as she says), she’s also got street smarts. So she wants me to be that way too, which is still a work in progress.
My friend Kat is in my corner because she gets it. She gets being in the entertainment industry and, at our age, the stressors you deal with when you’re starting out just trying to break through. But what she also is is original. She’s not a follower. She’s her own version of her own self, is authentic, there’s nothing fake about her. Everything is genuine when you’re around her.
My friend Gracie is the most free-spirited person I know. Always smiling when I see her, always seeing the positive and light in things. She once asked me if I was going to a Bengals-Browns game (this was when the Bengals were 1-11). I’m not sure if she knew that same weekend was the Crosstown Shootout and the Bearcats football team playing for a conference championship (I did go to that game). But case in point, she may have not known what was going on, but that was okay. She was free-spirited about it and, hey, at least she knew I was a Bengals fan.
The point is there are more than four people in my corner, just like there are more than four ways to beat cancer. My uncle certainly knew that. And today is a day of not only remembering him, but also thinking about the people who you have in your corner. And while you’re thinking about them, maybe have some chicken and waffles and listen to a little U2.
Let me be Frank and Cut to the Chase 